One morning I was on the edge of giving up, giving myself over to hopelessness, giving in to the desire to melt away to nothing.
I knew I sat on the edge of a pivotal choice –
to live or begin to die.
I was tired of mourning. The exhaustion of grief had consumed all that I had to give. I had sorrowed all that I could sorrow.
It was then that I read the words of Henri Nouwen:
“The steps of dancing are learned in the mourning”
I could see myself then. Nestled into the darkness, folded in on myself, hair hanging in front of my face as though darkness was not enough to get lost in.
And then I saw His hand reaching into my inky depths.
It was turned up and open. A silent invitation.
He stood at the edge of the dance floor, just within the boundary of the spotlight, extending his hand to me ~ His invitation to dance.
He is self-assured and waits for me to overcome my reluctance. His light draws me from the darkness as His expectancy grips me. Like a gentleman finding a new and perfect partner he waits. For in this moment, no one else will do. He isn’t searching the crowd for anyone to take His hand. He is waiting for me to take his hand.
Tentatively I reach from the shadows and as my fingertips find his palm they brush over the scar. My tears collect at the rim of my eyelids building up for the cascade.
Yes, He knows how to suffer and yet…he knows how to dance.
I grip his hand and look at my pale skin in the blazing spotlight. Having hid myself from the light for so long I lack luster.
He draws me in…close to him. His other arm wraps around me, aligning me with him.
Cheek to cheek we sway. I feel him smile as he looks over my shoulder.
The music is slow and it’s melody is a blend of the dark and beautiful. My melancholy is enveloped in Him. His pleasure in me, his partner, overpowers the lingering tears and braces my heart. He moves us around the dance floor, held so close I need not worry about the steps or if I know the music to which I dance.
I finally release the sorrow…leaning into Him even more.
I am lost in his love, his strength, his knowledge of the dance….
Is he inviting you to dance today?
OH.MY.GOSH. This is incredibly beautiful! Poetry….so touched my heart. Tears….major tears….and I love the song, too.
It’s not finished by any means… probably will be a three part series 🙂 Stay tuned…. and grab your Kleenex box – I still do 🙂
I love what you write. You touch my heart as much through your words as if you forced your finger in through my flesh…. Did you notice, this is the same photo I used in my September 20 blog post? 🙂
Helen – thank you. I am beginning to share pieces I have held close to my heart. You know, those writings that are profoundly personal. Thank you for your beautiful words of encouragement. I didn’t realize I found the same picture as you! I will have to go back and check it out! Blessings on your day – and may you hear him ask you to dance 🙂
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