This may not be a woman that you’d often chance to meet,

For if she were than surely you would notice and retreat.

Who is the shadow on the floor, the reflection in the glass?

Sometimes she looks so empty, as she rips away her mask.

She brushes out her long brown hair, and no one’s there to see,

The tears of sadness rolling down her tender, ruddy cheeks.

Once joyful as they day began, but weakened by the war,

It’s such a battle to hold on, each day becomes a chore.

“This cannot be who I’ve become,” she slowly turns away.

“I cannot bear to see myself,” the evening crowns her day.

“The time has come to close my eyes and drift off fast to sleep,

I’ll pray the angels guard my dreams and trust my soul they’ll keep.”

She lies between the cool, soft sheets and cries a little more,

She shivers in her flannel gown~lights off~her memories soar.

If wishing and remembering could only turn the tide,

She wouldn’t feel the fear she feels, welling up inside.

But loneliness surrounds her as she burrows in her bed,

The quiet night embraces her as visions fill her head.

There is no quiet in her mind, just noise that fights her sleep,

Enough to drive her crazier, as if she lives to weep.

Her fingernails~once long and pretty, now an ugly sight,

Dig through her skin and make her bleed, as evening turns to night.

She bites her lips and makes them swell and grinds away her teeth,

She agonizes all alone and hides the truth beneath.

Who can she tell, where can she go to lose this awful pain?

She feels as long as she’s alive this torture will remain.

But if someone were to figure out the ugliness inside

She couldn’t use her mask as just another place to hide.

The mask provides her safety from the world outside her door,

And even those she calls her friends, beyond it can’t explore.

She’s hidden well from everyone, except herself of course,

Her health declines so quickly from the unforgiving force.

The hatred in her heart defies the only world she’s seen,

She hates and hurts herself so much, her mask is all that’s clean.

Her spirit and her heart so grieve, she punishes her mind,

By letting in the agony that satan loves to find.

But in the sunshine of the day her smile will shine for many,

She’ll give herself to everyone, while not receiving any.

Though kindness may surround her days, she dare not let some in,

She cannot see forgiven-ness provided for her sins.

So every night she washes off the pleasantness of day,

And turns to run and hide herself, to push her guilt away.

Though it never really goes away, so daytime never lasts,

Again she’s face to face with self, and fear from nightmares past.

And every night she finds the same reflection in the mirror,

And every night she tries to hide from pain that turns to terror.

But terror only grows and grows and night by night goes by,

The nights last longer than the days, sometimes she thinks, “Why try?”

Is there an answer to her plight? An outlet for her horror?

Or is she destined only for the fear that floods her floor?

There is no friend in darkness, only pain and torture wait,

To laugh at her and break her down and advertise her fate.

Where can she go? What can she do? She needs an answer fast.

She needs to hear there’s something else that she can find at last.

Something that will heal her mind and mend her broken heart,

Something that will make the day last longer than the dark.

But look, she’s not worth saving, she’s been beaten down so low,

All her sins are heaped upon her, smothering any ember’s glow.

Without a spark to start a fire within what’s left inside,

There is no hope to fan a flame, no life to now revive.

So hopeless now she falls asleep to dream a scary dream,

A restless night of hellish thoughts, as satan plots his scheme.

Just one more night is all he’ll need, he holds her in his grip,

Just one more frightful, morbid thought-and from this life she’ll slip.

Perhaps you might extend your hand, a cheerful word or two.

Perhaps you’ll even say a prayer and hope that she pulls through.

Perhaps your fear will push you back and leave her there to cry,

Perhaps in lack of confidence you’ll fail her and she’ll die.

The sickness that will fill your mind, will come from losing her,

It will not go away at all unless your cry is heard.

But her cry goes unnoticed, why should anyone hear yours?

Be the one that listens and obeys and prays and wins the war.

For yes, the war is being fought in high and heavenly realms,

And yes there is a Master and He’s holding fast the helm.

He’s given out instructions for His troops to heed His Call,

But He needs us to respond and give ourselves and give our all.

He’s armed us and He’s sent us out to beat the enemy back,

He’s gathered us together and commanded we attack.

Now is not the time to simply cower and retreat,

The enemy must see that in God’s Name we can’t be beat.

Greater is the One who lives inside us and empowers,

Greater is the victory that Jesus says is ours.

Greater is His Name, above all others small or grand,

Greater is His Faith in us, ~than we have in His Hand.

Although His Hand can calm the seas or cause the winds to billow,

We say our bedtime prayers and then we hide beneath our pillows.

We turn and face the corner when He’s calling us to fight,

Pretending that there’s no one there afraid to face the night.

But remember just a bit ago we saw the woman crying

And we know that now it won’t be long before we find her dying.

Can we find the faith to face the fight that she’s too weak to wage,

Or is the battle only worth the fight when we are on stage?

Who is it that the Lord calls on when we’re to weak to stand?

Who is it that is praying that He’ll save us with His Hand?

Where do they get their courage and the faith that is required,

To get us through the hardest times when we are weak and tired?

What do they know that we don’t know? How can they stand so sure?

Thank God for their persistence, as they push on and endure.

They have no weapons tucked away that we can’t use ourselves,

They have God’s Word bound in their hearts, not hidden up on shelves.

They’ve read it through and learned it well and carry it in hand,

They’ve built their lives on solid Rock, not on the shifting sand.

What is it that you’re waiting for? How can you close your eyes?

The itching and the darkness make me sick in this disguise.

I need to know you’re out there and believing God for me,

So I can face the mirror and discover that I’m free.

See~ I could be this woman who’s afraid to live a lie

If I say that I’m okay with life, if it’s okay to die.

I’m glad that you’re my brother and my sister in our Lord,

But I’m too weak to carry or to even lift my sword.

Please won’t you intercede for me, tonight is all that’s left,

Tomorrow may not come at all, please place me in the cleft~

There in The Rock you’re standing on, ~that cleft is carved for me,

I cannot get there by myself, but it’s close enough to see.

As if I’d never said a word, my lips have made no plea,

Another night alone and scared, the woman beckons me.

She cannot face another day or live another hour,

Her life depends on what we do and if we use our power.

For through our prayers she can be born again and start anew,

But life and death lay in the midst to see what we will do.

Perhaps the woman dying is some beggar you don’t know,

But perhaps she’s closer than you think, her mask deceives you so~

Does it really even matter if you know her face at all?

Right now the Lord is telling you to listen to His Call.

He’s armed you and He’s tested you and knows how strong you are,

He’s carried you and walked with you and knows you’ve come so far.

You’re ready now for battle, there’s no need for you to run,

He’s equipped you and empowered you; your turn to fight has come.

You may be wrestling for the lives of those you hold so dear,

You may be called to pray out loud to chase away their fear.

You’re interceding prayers will go before the Father’s Throne

To save the lives of strangers or of those you call your own.

It shouldn’t really matter, since the Lord has chosen you

To pray for their deliverance, you’re the vessel He will use.

He knows whom He’s entrusted, for He’s seen your faith stand out,

He knows because He put it there ~that faith, without a doubt.

False evidence appearing real is just a thin veneer

So invoke the Name of Jesus to rebuke the smell of fear.

You can change the course of history, or the course of life’s mistakes

It’s time to stop and say a prayer-the hold of satan breaks.

~Helen Williams! © 2002

Helen shares more insights on her blog at

http://helenspointstoponder.blogspot.com

I always enjoy getting to know another Wounded~Healer~Warrior, hope you do to.