If you had a chance to listen to Judy Peterson’s talk that I posted on Tuesday then you will know what I mean when I say I am disturbed.

God is disturbing my path of well-worn soil so he may sew seed that will actually root and grow.

It is the soil of tradition that has masqueraded as truth for a long time.

Tradition says I am less because I am a woman.

Tradition says I can’t teach men because I am a woman.

Tradition says I can’t ever lead in my home because I’m married.

But over the last nine years God has slowly been working on this patch of tamped down, hard as a rock soil in my life.  This last week he dug deep to fallow ground and completely disturbed me.

He’s calling me out, and I’m shaking in my combat boots.

What if, even in marriage and the church, I am responsible to lead in my giftings?

What relief would come to my husband if he no longer carried burdens that are not his?  What if operating and leading in my strengths (as non-traditional as that may be) allowed me to be his Ezer Kinegdo – his strong help, his equal.

What if operating in these gifts in my church allowed men to not carry the burden of representing the feminine voice in the church?  What if stepping into my calling was what God desired for his whole image to be seen in the leadership of the church?

What if I took responsibility and confessed that I have not shared my giftings because of tradition.  Wow, wouldn’t that be saying that I had bowed to the fear of man rather than bowing to the fear of God? UGH!

I imagine that Joshua felt similar.  He had to lay low for 40 years, waiting out the lives and deaths of all those who decided not to take the promised land when God led them to it.  Moses was the last to go.  Joshua maintained his faith for 40 years when all of a sudden God said; “Get up! It’s time”

Joshua was pushed out of maintenance mode and into action.  He got called out.

Just like I did.

Suddenly he was told to get up and move.

I was struck by this passage as I was trying to chicken-out of the next step of my calling that God had given to me.  Yet God broke it down for me.

God’s Job Description

• I will be with you
• I will not fail you
• I will not forsake you

Joshua’s Job Description (and mine)

• Be Confident
• Have Good Courage
• Obey the Law
• Meditate on God’s truths
• Do

And the Rewards

• The Israelites inherited the land they were promised.
• Women would inherit their freedom, the same freedom Jesus radically gave to every woman.  We (women) would stop hiding behind “someone else’s” role.  We would become 100% responsible for the neglect of our giftings.  And God’s kingdom would reflect his Whole Image.
• Then our Way would be Prosperous
• Then we would Deal Wisely
• Then we will have Good Success

With fear and trembling I am sifting through God’s leadings, placing my wrestling before Him, my pastors and a few mentors.

Apparently fear and trembling is what happens to us warriors when we are called to action because God has to say it a few times: 

Be Strong and of Good Courage!