I Just Need Spring

Spring in Colorado is certainly filled with the unexpected. Typically, spring temperatures look like a few days in the seventies followed by some dips to the fifties, causing Coloradoans to be known for wearing shorts throughout and flip flops as soon as the crocus emerge from the snow.

This year our winter sunk its teeth in and just won’t let go. For the last six weeks my home has seen 6-12 inches of snow on a weekly basis. Each time the snow melts, hope springs for spring. But alas, we keep seeing old man winter. Even today we have a chance for 4-8 more inches of snow!

My healing has been a lot like this spring.

I get hopeful that the physical pain has receded and then it comes back. My sacrum stabilizes, relieving my hips and legs of the aching that keeps me awake, only to have the pain move to my neck. A brief reprieve from neck pain, and then the center of my back just behind my shoulder blades fires up. Each time I get one area happy the next one starts screaming.

I am weary of the process of healing, both physically and in my soul. The cycles from pain to wholeness and back into pain are tedious and my hope wavers as I keep trying to keep my head up and my eyes looking forward.

God in his wisdom knows I could not handle healing everything all at once. So he gifts me with cycles of healing and hurt, a little soul work here, a little strengthening of the body there. Like Paul, I must learn to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself.

I long for springtime in my body and soul, the end of cyclical snows and the beginning of warm sunshine.

I need the warmth of the sun. I long to see the beauty of new life emerging.